Alien Drums

There is a wonderful sadness in growing older. Just as you begin to make sense of things, you realize your life will be over in not too many days. Yes, life becomes a series of days, not years. I suspect that as I get older life will be calculated more as hours, then minutes and finally seconds.

The sadness is not in dying or thinking of dying; it is in realizing that just as you are beginning to understand life, it will be gone. That’s a good reason to believe in heaven, for heaven holds out the hope of living while knowing how to live and also still learning more about living. At least that’s how I choose to think of heaven right now.

I find myself wondering if I am slow or fast in comprehending truth. Did most people figure this out much earlier than at 51 years of age or are they later, to come behind me, if at all, in this understanding? At the risk of sounding arrogant, I think I’m earlier than most, at least by today’s standards. But then again, none of us arrive at understanding; we’re either pursuing it or we’re just breathing.

Many people in their 20s think they have figured out life, but I wonder if they’ve really looked beyond the understanding of their youth. Of course, in many ways when compared with true understanding, I am but a youth. There is so much I need to learn or know or simply express. I feel the need to try to write down what I really believe, because in writing you see the holes in your thinking and you become aware of the beauty and sense of it all, as well. I must do this before I die.